So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
