So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
