I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
