the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
