why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
