I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
