everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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