my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
