Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
