Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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