if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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