the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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