Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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  (310): I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today. http://tfl.nu/yukz
  Replies (8) Good night (5253) Bad night (689)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.

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  (571): I seriously fake cumming more than i poop. http://tfl.nu/kwns
  Replies (33) Good night (701) Bad night (5546)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.

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  (321): she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much. http://tfl.nu/ucje
  Replies (7) Good night (1534) Bad night (5714)
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  (518): View more from New York

  its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.

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  (518): its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant. http://tfl.nu/kaeb
  Replies (28) Good night (1186) Bad night (6060)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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  (260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z
  Replies (2) Good night (1831) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

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  (401): Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible. http://tfl.nu/g0k8
  Replies (14) Good night (4339) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.

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  (601): If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender. http://tfl.nu/eg99
  Replies (1) Good night (1872) Bad night (733)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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  (703): I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform. http://tfl.nu/4ptq
  Replies (8) Good night (3481) Bad night (703)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.

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  (952): You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness. http://tfl.nu/88ay
  Replies (6) Good night (2467) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.

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  (425): I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it. http://tfl.nu/tr7o
  Replies (0) Good night (886) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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  (608): I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better" http://tfl.nu/176v
  Replies (10) Good night (1311) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome

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  (443): let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome http://tfl.nu/i2ox
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n

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  (978): I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n http://tfl.nu/vl91
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Can't it be both?

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  (317): is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak' (1-317): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/ys3h
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

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  (847): I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards. http://tfl.nu/rmew
  Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (150)

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