During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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