Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'

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  (512): And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.' http://tfl.nu/l1oz
  Replies (18) Good night (697) Bad night (3295)
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  (949): View more from California

  My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

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  (949): My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout. http://tfl.nu/7ut3
  Replies (3) Good night (4472) Bad night (794)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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  (314): He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life. http://tfl.nu/k4q7
  Replies (33) Good night (979) Bad night (5859)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.

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  (262): I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom. http://tfl.nu/hw22
  Replies (13) Good night (5707) Bad night (1159)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i dont know what to do

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  with your life?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3

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  (732): i dont know what to do (1-732): with your life? (732): no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3 http://tfl.nu/i8yp
  Replies (17) Good night (5091) Bad night (2307)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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  (864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz
  Replies (6) Good night (1353) Bad night (1611)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.

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  (480): This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love. http://tfl.nu/h8jg
  Replies (9) Good night (1418) Bad night (1753)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy

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  (615): The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy http://tfl.nu/u49d
  Replies (3) Good night (1548) Bad night (534)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA

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  (563): This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA http://tfl.nu/rbpe
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (554)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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  (+61): It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/jcbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1178) Bad night (525)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.

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  (256): Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive. http://tfl.nu/eyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (912) Bad night (572)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just feel like everything is too perfect

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Or both. Which is common

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  (413): I just feel like everything is too perfect (774): He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator (774): Or both. Which is common http://tfl.nu/4u8t
  Replies (4) Good night (1240) Bad night (485)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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  (517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (336)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make

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  (480): It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make http://tfl.nu/me5f
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (307)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"

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  (480): After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?" http://tfl.nu/3vzy
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (187)

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