WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize