thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
