i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
