do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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