South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
