i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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