That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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