can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
