windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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