so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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