This is not my ceiling
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
