So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How external is "for external use only"?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
