It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
