Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
