Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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