its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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