Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry seeker22 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..

Fav 15 1934 979
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

Princesses don't give blow jobs

Fav 69 2669 5468
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

Fav 19 4035 1847
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.

Fav 4 3808 1001
share tweet
(925): View more from California

she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

(1-925): View more from California

this was your mom?

Fav 4 1555 857
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.

Fav 4 1760 863
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.

Fav 11 2945 1164
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".

Fav 0 14 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”

Fav 0 132 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT