Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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