Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize