so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
