I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
