I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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