you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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