Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
