You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
