i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
nutella sex= disaster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
