You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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