Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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