We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
