using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
