there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
