so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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