He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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