they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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