She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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