So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
