Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
