The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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