Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
