Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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