you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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