What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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