I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
