her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
