Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
